The Slow Gin Fizz

…and you’re welcome

movie review: paranormal state November 8, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists, Movie Reviews — theslowginfizz @ 11:17 pm
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  1. i have bad dreams. wtf was i thinking?
  2. oh yeah, i make poor life choices, that’s my thing
  3. i’m sure it would have been fine if the lights were on and someone was laughing.
  4. though the dude in the movie would still be a tremendous tool
  5. and gay cousin ted was there
  6. speaking of new years, funniest thing terrence ever said when i invited to get in on the 80s cover band. he asked if we were seeing a band or being an 80s cover band.
  7. he will don neon sunglasses with slits cut out and a comically large bow tie
  8. eeps, i swear i hear footsteps and my computer is doing weird things.
  9. running into my neighbor who said weird things was not optimal
  10. oh yeah, new years. we definately want lori for lv (lead vocals)
  11. rachel will be our manager
  12. but terrence says she needs to manage like sly from california dreams. and if she’s not available, we need to book sly. screw it, we should just get sly now.
  13. i’m working on a set list (appletinis, neon gum, quagmire, relationship biscuits)
  14. not much time, we better start rehearsing
  15. teddy, we need you to play that keyboard thing that you wear like a guitar.
 

reasons why it’s ok [for me] if rachel doesn’t drink in november November 5, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 11:34 pm
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  1. it makes it easier to explain why we’re different
  2. it’s a new thing to fight about/discuss in calm tones
  3. november is stupid
  4. it has absolutely no effect/affect on my own drinking habits
  5. heck, i’m drunk right now as i write this, and i feel great about her life choice
  6. it’ll be interesting to see what [if any] of the movies she loves are suddenly unfunny
  7. does this mean she no longer talks about comedians?
  8. it was scary the time she told me about setting her hair on fire
  9. it was even scarier when i saw her set her hair on fire
  10. she’ll always have gum*
  11. maybe she’ll blog more
  12. maybe as an act of rebellion i’ll drink more which always leads to people liking me better
  13. we can finally take welding classes
  14. maybe it will motivate me to pick up whiskey as a hobby
  15. kindly disregard this list. just realized november is a 31 day month. i tried saying it out loud and ‘rachel, want to go get a water later?’ totally sucks.

*is it recovering drug addicts or alcoholics that chew a lot of gum?

 

changing the typeface of interweb conversation one [key]stroke at a time November 3, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 6:20 pm
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phrases like ’shut up’ or ‘what did you say’ just aren’t making sense now that we’re all typing. for your approval, a new dictionary

 

  1. shut up -> End
  2. hey, why don’t you come by my place later -> Enter
  3. what did you say? -> Backspace
  4. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to say that -> Delete
  5. cockblock -> F2
  6. let’s change the subject -> Shift
  7. i need a drink -> Tab
  8. gotta run, something suddenly came up ->Insert
  9. i’ma fucking  put that guy on the floor -> PgDn
  10. thanks for helping me get home last night -> PgUp
  11. this place sucks, i’m leaving -> Home
  12. i wish that guy would leave the country so i never had to talk to him ever again -> Alt
  13. how do we get out of going to that guy’s birthday? -> Esc
  14. please don’t let me give my number to anyone at the bar who’s name i can’t pronounce and is wearing a mask -> NmLk
  15. please take my phone so i don’t text anyone -> ScrLk
 

bright eyes lyric, my life, or both? November 2, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 7:30 pm
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damn you lua from the  ‘dark was the night’ soundtrack

 

  1. Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they’ll be gone
  2. But me I’m not a gamble, you can count on me to split
  3. The love I sell you in the evening by the morning won’t exist
  4. But what’s so easy in the evening by the morning’s such a drag
  5. I got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train
  6. We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
  7. But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane
  8. The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
  9. It’s not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
  10. It was so simple in the moonlight now it’s so complicated
 

reasons why i love halloween November 1, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 5:00 am
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  1. i always wait till the last minute to create my costume, totally freak out, and then it works out just fine
  2. me and rachel get along
  3. flirting is easier
  4. unlike in real life, there’s always at least 3 people in a 2 foot radius that look dumber than you do
  5. screaming in bars is not only ok, but encouraged [by non rachels]
  6. not dressing slutty makes me feel superior and comfortable
  7. people are really f’ing creative
  8. ie the people who dressed up as the gatekeeper and keymaster from ghostbusters
  9. on every block you see someone with a costume that makes you go ‘OMG LOOK IT’S ____’
  10. in new york things are actually open and you can take your pick of streetlights and people [but not spaghetti]
  11. you don’t have to feel guilty about having the ’single ladies’ song in your head
  12. when the yankees win a world series game, you get to high five a wrestler, a gladiator, and borat
  13. a shot of tequila, lime, and tobasco sauce somehow makes sense and tastes amazing
  14. and the fact that it was bought for you by an insane slutty cop isn’t such a big deal
  15. you get to meet the king of poland
  16. gumby speaks
  17. strangers bleeding profusely isn’t as scary
  18. talking to strangers is fun and has no negative repercussions
  19. cops yell out  ‘married with children’ references from the mic in their van
  20. new york city finds a way to kick even more fat ass than it does normally
 

thoughts i had while watching the movie ‘Hollywoodland’ that make me wonder if i’ve been watching too much CSI October 31, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 3:15 pm
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  1. two hours and seven minutes? the CSI team would’ve cracked this case in an hour.
  2. why is no one analyzing the blood splatter?
  3. the coroner can’t explain the bruises on the body? are you even fucking kidding me?
  4. did someone just mock the investigator for mentioning science?
  5. goddamnit, i want to see some bullet analysis
  6. did it ever occur to anyone to talk to this man’s doctor?
  7. DOES THE PHRASE TOXOLOGY REPORT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU PEOPLE?!
  8. after years of watching grisom, adrien brody is suddenly sexy to me. what?
  9. why have i only heard the word ‘fingerprint’ once in the whole damn movie
  10. why am i thinking about this during halloween?
 

Thoughts from my Halloween costume shopping debacle October 30, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 2:03 pm
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  1. what kind of footwear do lumberjacks wear? Can I use this to justify buying new sneakers? No.
  2. I am caring about this way more than actual lumberjacks would
  3. am I just gonna look like a hipster?
  4. what do suspenders even accomplish?
  5. this would be way easier if the timber museum had been open
  6. why did I spend so much money in seattle on honey and nothing on pacific northwest indigenous clothing???
  7. why do Halloween stores sell like 15 light sabers (which don’t even exist in real life) and nothing resembling an ax (which is a real thing)
  8. I need a boyfriend
  9. do lumberjacks still exist?
  10. why do I wait till the last minute every year when I know how terribly I function under pressure?
  11. shouldn’t I be having a lori’s birthday miracle?
  12. Halloween is stupid
  13. where the f is jian and the magic punch?
  14. why are there no craft stores downtown?
  15. I’m so confused.
 

I’m Sorry But I’m Just Thinking Of The Right Words To Say… October 29, 2009

Filed under: Birthday Love, Rachel's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 11:36 pm

the funniest things lori ever said to me, or at least the only ones i can remember right now.  naturally, some of them are better in context.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUERTO RICO!!!

1 – “that’s not the girl he came out of the bathroom with”

2 – “you went to trivia without me?!”

3 – “he’s my longest relationship after verizon” (fyi this is not in reference to a significant other)

4 – “i didn’t ask if you cleaned out your vagina”

5 – “why do you hang out with people that aren’t us?”

6 – “did they just say sesame chicken?”

7 – “i like how you say very straight, like there are those who are slightly straight”

8 – “you can’t make me put vinegar on my french fries”

9 – “don’t laugh at me, i’m wonderful”

10 – “my father is more of a jewish mother than my mother ever was”

 

Reasons I am a mets fan cheering on the Yankees in the world series October 29, 2009

  1. I was made in the Bronx
  2. my mom is a yankees fan. she rocks. so does my crazy friend mike who makes baseball even superawtastic.
  3. even the roots left philly for new york
  4. remember that time philly ruined our lives? and then that other time?
  5. new york gets even funner when we win shit. even when the yanks lost last night, it was still crazy fun.
  6. phillies fans boo seven year old girls and I suspect they also kick puppies
  7. I finally have a valid reason for cursing at teddy
  8. philadelphia is closer to Brooklyn in geography and spirit
  9. shane? chase? jayson??? it would be like cheering on the mean rich boys from a john hughes movie.
  10. the phanatic is stupid

THE PROOF: http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/video?id=7088461

 

i live HERE now October 26, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 3:52 pm
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things i will find myself saying as i adjust to being back in nyc

  1. ugh, way too much to blog. why can’t i just eat cheese?
  2. wow, the homeless people here really look homeless
  3. you call that a hipster?
  4. where are the compost bins at the restaurants?
  5. there’s sure a heck of a lot of people out at night
  6. i can’t even decide where to go out, there’s so much open
  7. why are there no tasting flights at this bar?
  8. you mean i can’t try all the wines?
  9. why is this bread not sourdough
  10. why the f did i buy so much honey
  11. why are there so many old people and chicks?
  12. what the hell is that big yellow bright thing in the sky?
  13. you call that a hill?!
  14. where the frig are all the jam samples?
  15. why is that guy yelling?
  16. if you don’t have to hit it with a mallet, it’s not worth eating
  17. where are all the scenic views near bodies of water?
  18. my ceilings are nowhere near 14 ft
  19. can you tell me if this tshirt is sustainable? that matters to me.
  20. if i don’t listen to taylor swift’s ‘you belong with me’ for over a week, it makes me cry like the first time. lesson learned!