- you belong with the bottom of the ravine your tour bus spilled all that crap into that time
- you belong with someone significantly less cool than ryan reynolds
- you belong with that county outside of new york city
- you belong with brooklyn and thank god you stay there
- you belong with billy bob thornton
- you belong with long island, not my fucking neighborhood
- you belong with philadelphia
- you belong with coleslaw, cause most people just throw it out even though they serve it with EVERYTHING
- you belong with that lameass doctor your character married in ‘somethings gotta give’
- you belong with the song ‘we built this city’
if taylor swift wrote songs about people i hate, the title would be… October 5, 2009
My suggestions for the Hollywood themed office pot luck October 5, 2009
none of which made the cut
- mr. potatohead salad
- bettywhite pizza
- baracked ziti
- chicken gizzards of oz
- keanu reeveslime pie
- billy deelime pie
- harry potstickers
- mickey mousse
- tuna fey casserole
- tater swift tots
- robert pate’son
- rhett velvet cupcakes
- lawrence fishsticks
- dude, where’s my miso soup?
- guacamole with the wind
Appropriate Responses To Teddy’s Fear of Dying October 5, 2009
Lisa recently tried to calm me down after I explained to her my fear of dying while running the marathon, with statistics about how many people have died at the Chicago Marathon. Here are more appropriate responses:
1. No one with an ass that bangin would ever be allowed to die.
2. I bet your bangin hair will serve as a shield toward any hazards in your way.
3. You should be more afraid of pooping your pants.
4. Just think of how bangin your ass will be after running 26 miles.
5. As long as you have Taylor Swift on your iPod while running, you’ll be fine.
6. If you do die, you’ll look fabulous in doing it in your cute running shorts.
7. Stop being a fucking pussy and just do the damn thing.
8. I love you.
9. If you don’t die I’ll take you for some cake after. You like cake don’t you?
10. Think of all the hot men who will be waiting for you at the finish line to get a piece of that bangin ass they saw running. Don’t disappoint them!
Possible reasons why I am having such strong physical and emotional reactions to the music of taylor swift October 5, 2009
- this must be my version of a sports car as age 30 closes in
- and I’m still on the bleachers
- on youtube, all you have to type is ‘Ta’ and that friggin song is the first thing that comes up
- on google, all you have to type is ‘you be’ and the lyrics to that friggin song are the first thing that comes up
- that’s what happens when you watch MTV on direct tv during a flight home when you’re terrified of flying and don’t want to go home and you just landed and that friggin video is on
- I hate cheerleaders
- I love sneakers and tshirts
- laughing on a park bench is actually really easy
- I listened to nirvana during my formative years and never got to indulge in age appropriate puppy love angst
- aka I was a fat tweenager
- had the beastie boys released their new album as scheduled, this would not be an issue
- my dad is gay
- I don’t think any of us can be held responsible for our actions in 2009. at least I didn’t get a really bad haircut.
- perhaps my amateur mixology really wasn’t the best idea and all these feelings are the result of some bad jam
- taylor is like the adorable blond perky nice popular [but not too popular] little sister I never had
