(1) i can actually see the potato pancake shapes in my belly
(2) i formulate escape strategies involving ropes when mu rooms on the first floor
(3) i miss the mess in my apartment
(4) and the mosquito that haunts what would be my dreams if i could actually sleep
(5) i fantasize about using my web enabled mobile device on the bus ride home
(6) i miss brooklyn…yeah
(7) i review the catalogue of breakups and would rather go through that again than be here
(8) i have actually eaten all of my many feelings
(9) and yet i’m still unhappy. How is this possible?
(10) ahhhhh the movie knocked up. Haven’t seen this in a while. I really hate everything. Get me out of here.
i know i’ve been at my parents place too long when… November 28, 2009
good things i have to say about the movie ‘music and lyrics’ which my dad looooooves November 27, 2009
- hugh grant is alive and does not die in this movie
- drew barrymore’s dresses and scarves are pretty and remind me of rachel
- the teacher from Glee is in this movie and that reminds me of lori
- the talk about smokey robinson as being the greatest songwriter. which he is.
- one of the guy from Singles is in this and plays a tool
- hugh grants old band reminds me of wham
- and that reminds me of the song ‘last christmas’
- and that reminds of me of christmas and that it’s coming!
- this movie is complete crap
- oh god, now my dad is trying to explain love and romantic comedies to me. bah humbug.
black friday shopping with pops starting at 5am November 27, 2009
(1) and you all wonder why i dont like shopping
(2) haha, people are annoyed that im playing hearts on the line and not caring
(3) aaaaaaand dad is arguing. And we’re walking away.
(4) oh good, he bought ghosts of ex girfriends past, marley and me, and 17 again
(5) gay cousin ted has been outgayed
(6) oh god, i hope i dont have to watch any of these
(7) wow, i got all this stuff done and mcdonalds is still serving breakfast. So thats why people do this!
(8) mmmmm egg mcmuffin.
(9) OMFG CHANGE OF PLANS WHITE CASTLE AHHHHHHH
(10) god bless us everyone
blogging from the bus. cause i can. November 25, 2009
(1) this is fun!
(2) the pirate radio soundtrack is soooooo good
(3) i really love the song Elenore. Is it too old timey to name my daughter that?
(4) the bus is packed. When did people move to rockland?
(5) jk. Most of them got off in jersey.
(6) oooooh dusty springfield. If mu heart had a better voice, it would sound like her.
(7) you dont have to say you love me. Sigh.
(8) btw, found out the hard way that its too soon for me to hear dirty dancing songs.
(9) what the fuck is wrong with suzanne somers?
(10) oooh gotta run, teddy wants to chat! Happy thanksgiving!
I have a mutant mosquito in my room that attacks me in the night leaving disconcertingly swelled bites on my face for me to find in the morning November 23, 2009
Possible reasons for this
- it is still 2009
- nothing good happens after 2am, even when you’re alone
- some 16 yr old girls were upset at my twilight review, found out where I lived and wanted to make a statement by infesting me with blood suckers
- I’ve become a pawn in the never ending fight betwixt Predator and Alien
- the egyptians are getting their revenge for the plagues
- brooklyn has noticed my absence and has found new ways to infect my life with awful
- one of the apps on my new phone has backfired horribly
- forces are already at work to ruin ted’s vacation
- I am irresistible to all male parasites
- swelling was the only way god thought he could make my head normal sized
reasons why i hate ted from ‘how i met your mother’ November 21, 2009
- he corrects people’s grammar in this tone of complete condescension
- he is an unreliable narrator (which we kinda learn in the St. Patrick’s Day party episode)
- he went to Wesleyan
- i think the girl he is going to marry will be a skank
- he has an evil smile
- he had a threesome with Winnie Cooper
- Victoria was lovely and he was not only a crap boyfriend, but also cheated on her
- he went on a blind date with the same girl twice and rejected her only because she dressed up her cats
- he’s from ohio
- i can’t sleep
movie review: twilight new moon November 21, 2009
- was i ever a screaming teenager? i really don’t think so.
- so here’s what i’m wondering. homeboy is like a hundred plus years old. he’s seen things. european things. and he falls for not only a young person, but a dumb young person…from america? really?
- and all that romantical crap she was spouting out. don’t kids get drunk and screw each other in someones basement anymore?
- please tell me there’s going to be a prequel about dr. cullen.
- the best thing i can say about this movie is that it makes me never want to fall in love [or anything close] ever again. it seems awful. and accurate. hopefully a deterrent to today’s youth.
- were the vampires eyes more rediculous this time around? and dude, they’re pale, we get it.
- the dialogue has not improved. though i am glad that the entire theatre laughed at the more rediculous lines.
- jacob is an extremely beautiful manwolfchild.
- and seriously, what’s up with bella being this like, monster groupie? it implies a daddy issue far beyond my comprehension.
- bella refers to herself as a cougar because she dates monsters 1 and 2 years younger than her 18 years. i officially want to jump off of a high cliff with no expectations of a vampire of manwolfchild coming to my aid.
- oh my god, rural washington was georgeous, why the f did i leave. dude, the only accurate thing in this movie is the fact that la push beach is really amazing. and the movie doesn’t even do it justice. so i guess nothing in the movie is accurate.
- however, wolves are extremely cool. especially when they are hungry.
- if they can all see the future, couldn’t all of these shenanigans have been prevented? why didn’t the cullens just not live there to begin with? its like they want life to be awful for everyone.
- how did indie rock reach rural washington? having ridden those winding roads, i can tell you that they don’t have radio reception.
- the old timey vampires use the word ‘utilize’. rachel is gonna be maaaaaad.
movie review: pirate radio November 14, 2009
- so this is probably the most emotion i’ve had in public since the vmas
- they show album covers during the credits. not hard to understand why taylor swift was included.
- i think i experienced what lori feels like when she watches Glee
- phillip seymour hoffman should continue to only play lester bangs in every movie he is in. and he should never die.
- thank god they didn’t try to make him british
- though i love seeing him be a pimp and totally getting some
- they don’t make it seem so in the commercials, but this really was laugh out loud funny and the dirty jokes were clever yet banal enough to be fun
- and perhaps the first i ever thought that a british person understood me really well and made a movie just for me.
- i think you can only really enjoy this movie if you really love music. and i do.
- the soundtrack better have like 12 volumes
- i guess he’s done other stuff, but to me, he will always be the guy in the replacements who was wiry
- its unfortunate that romantic leads are becoming too young for me to find them attractive
- i want to see it again and liveblog it with my web enabled mobile device
- oh my god, they played one of my favorite songs from the motown christmas album. this director should only ever make movies that involve christmas.
- please see this movie
movie review: paranormal state November 8, 2009
- i have bad dreams. wtf was i thinking?
- oh yeah, i make poor life choices, that’s my thing
- i’m sure it would have been fine if the lights were on and someone was laughing.
- though the dude in the movie would still be a tremendous tool
- and gay cousin ted was there
- speaking of new years, funniest thing terrence ever said when i invited to get in on the 80s cover band. he asked if we were seeing a band or being an 80s cover band.
- he will don neon sunglasses with slits cut out and a comically large bow tie
- eeps, i swear i hear footsteps and my computer is doing weird things.
- running into my neighbor who said weird things was not optimal
- oh yeah, new years. we definately want lori for lv (lead vocals)
- rachel will be our manager
- but terrence says she needs to manage like sly from california dreams. and if she’s not available, we need to book sly. screw it, we should just get sly now.
- i’m working on a set list (appletinis, neon gum, quagmire, relationship biscuits)
- not much time, we better start rehearsing
- teddy, we need you to play that keyboard thing that you wear like a guitar.
reasons why it’s ok [for me] if rachel doesn’t drink in november November 5, 2009
- it makes it easier to explain why we’re different
- it’s a new thing to fight about/discuss in calm tones
- november is stupid
- it has absolutely no effect/affect on my own drinking habits
- heck, i’m drunk right now as i write this, and i feel great about her life choice
- it’ll be interesting to see what [if any] of the movies she loves are suddenly unfunny
- does this mean she no longer talks about comedians?
- it was scary the time she told me about setting her hair on fire
- it was even scarier when i saw her set her hair on fire
- she’ll always have gum*
- maybe she’ll blog more
- maybe as an act of rebellion i’ll drink more which always leads to people liking me better
- we can finally take welding classes
- maybe it will motivate me to pick up whiskey as a hobby
- kindly disregard this list. just realized november is a 31 day month. i tried saying it out loud and ‘rachel, want to go get a water later?’ totally sucks.
*is it recovering drug addicts or alcoholics that chew a lot of gum?
