The Slow Gin Fizz

…and you’re welcome

It’s a wonderful life December 31, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 2:18 pm
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No, not really. But here’s some pretty rad things that managed to happen in ’09. you have no idea how hard it was to refrain from sarcasm by adding items like ‘a guy rejecting me by calling me a cougar’ or ‘that bug bite on my face that blew up to the size of toronto’.

  1. getting to watch the taylor swift episode of CSI. (spoiler alert: she’s awesome in it)
  2. tom morello continuing to exist in his various forms
  3. the time me and jian went to that wine tasting, closed the place down and she took 5 trains to get home and gave her free bottle of wine to a homeless person
  4. rice
  5. the time me and GCT went to showtunes night and insulted each other for like 5 consecutive hours
  6. the great karaoke extravaganza of 2009 for the aforementioned GCT
  7. furthering the cause of jam based cocktails
  8. the time me and Rachel crashed Brett’s birthday party and he totally had it going on
  9. fish tacos
  10. the movie ‘Pirate Radio’
  11. terrence moving back to astoria
  12. lots of honey
  13. la push beach
  14. getting on Japanese television
  15. and then eating poutine
  16. spending Halloween with borat
  17. magically experiencing a 5 for 5 record of mets home game wins
  18. taco bell coming back to my neighborhood
  19. marionberry jam
  20. having, seriously, the coolest friends of ever
 

End of year/decade lists I decided not to make because they were too negative December 29, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists,hopes and dreams and stuff — theslowginfizz @ 11:26 am
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  1. best hospital dining hall items of ‘09
  2. worst days ever
  3. harshest rejections of the decade
  4. favorite calories
  5. personal achievements of the decade
  6. biggest bug bites
  7. best fights with rachel
  8. things I thought would have happened by now that didn’t (#1 understanding when to use affect and effect)
  9. bad drink choices
  10. bad drunken choices
  11. the ones that got away
  12. bad habits i’ve developed
  13. best typos and grammatical errors
  14. best scripted and least probable romantic comedy moments
  15. biggest ny mets letdowns
 

Reasons you should live with me December 18, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists,hopes and dreams and stuff — theslowginfizz @ 12:13 pm
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http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/roo/1515634549.html

  1. I wrote the longest room for rent ad in the history of time and yet managed to say remarkably little. talent!
  2. everyone else’s ad was boring and they smell
  3. in 4.5 years in my apartment, I have never once raised my voice to a roommate. I save that for Rachel.
  4. due to a spectacularly bad dating year, I will no longer be bringing any boys home and am too old to do so even if I wanted to
  5. I don’t cook anything so there’s never weird cooking smells
  6. I am big on vows of silence
  7. you never have to talk to me before noon
  8. my parents say I was the best roommate they ever had
  9. I bring home sandwiches
  10. CSI isn’t a very loud show
  11. I NEVER listen to taylor swift…without headphones
  12. gay cousin ted visits sometimes
  13. since I can’t find an instructional book for my harmonica, that probably won’t be going anywhere
  14. once I win the new drink contest, I’ll be pretty rich and famous and will be getting lots of cool stuff for the apartment
  15. I hate people, so there’s never any wild parties
 

things that would get said in couples counseling with rachel and lisa December 7, 2009

Filed under: Ethical Debates,Lisa's Lists,hopes and dreams and stuff — theslowginfizz @ 9:21 pm
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  1. didn’t we we just share yesterday?
  2. is this byob?
  3. dude, it’s just grammar, chill the fuck out
  4. can we watch ‘love actually’ while we do this?
  5. just proofread emails before you send them. it takes literally a second
  6. dude, ‘literally’ is as unnecessary of a word as utilize
  7. lisa, feelings cannot be stupid or wrong. but you do really stupid things based on how you feel. a lot.
  8. rachel, i think that’s stupid
  9. you’re such an asshole
  10. why can’t you just say ‘i’m busy’ or ‘i don’t feel like it’ or ‘maybe, i’ll let you know by 4′ when i try to make plans?
  11. do you have anything heavier than a nerf baseball bat to emote with?
  12. can we get our friends on conference call? we’ll pay extra.
  13. why are you yelling? i’m sitting two feet away. ‘literally’.
  14. i’m gonna need honey for this level of impasse
  15. therapist, can we get one of those police lineup mirror windows in here? we get along better when we think no one’s watching.
  16. where are we going to eat after this? they have a bar, right?
  17. teddy’s gonna be maaaaad when i tell him you called me retarded
  18. if we had a friendship assessment committee, this would not be necessary
  19. lisa, you put the ‘ass’ in ‘assessment’
  20. hehe, you said ass and men