- the vapid whore (a stupid, overly simple drink with promiscuous ingredients. Vodka and simple syrup)
- the dan hump-rye
- Dorota’s Apron (a quiet and respectable low alcohol drink designed to help one keep one’s composure while quietly plotting world domination and perhaps similar to a sloe gin fizz)
- the headbander (whiskey sour with a twist)
- Rufus’ DUMBO (a drink marketed to be ‘edgy’ and from the wrong side of the tracks, but in reality is fancy and too expensive for median income consumption)
- i’m chuck bass (a beer cocktail mixing Bass beer and champagne)
- the queen bee (you guessed it, a honey cocktail!)
- the asscot (cognac, seltzer, a splash of scotch, ginger ale)
- the GG Cocktail (dirty show meets dirtiest work in the english language that isn’t a curse. Basically, a dirty martini)
- the Serena (a tequila based drink resulting in bad life choices)
- the Vanessa (a drink that looks stupid but tastes…stupid. I don’t know what’s in it, because I would never drink it)
- the Jenny (a fairly weak drink but garnished with narcotics)
- the subway (aka water. a completely nonexistent drink since no one on this show seems to have ever seen a train despite being nyc lifers)
- tights aren’t pants (a drink that pretends to be practical, acts like it’s comfortable but classy, but is really just downright trampy. Aka, a sake bomb)
- the plot thickens (aka an alcoholic milkshake. Completely childish, stupid, wrong, nonsensical, and beyond awesome)
