- feeling pretty gosh darn bad
- feeling awesome (psych!)
- feeling unsure of the proper way to spell ‘psych’ in this context
- feeling somewhat embarrassed by my drunk texting
- but am still feeling that it is better than drunk dialing
- feeling good about vodka
- feeling stupid and wrong
- feeling nauseous. hope it’s not morning sickness! jk.
- feeling like maybe I should watch other shows besides 6 Feet Under and Lost
- feeling grateful that only five people read this blog
Alternate titles for the song “feeling good” if it were written to reflect my dating manifest for the past few years March 29, 2010
Fun review: new york stories: the annual MothShop All-Star Review @ city winery March 25, 2010
- omg I love city winery. ok that’s a dumb statement. I love wine.
- but seriously, those may have been some of the more amazing scallops I’ve had in my life. The buffalo pizza was kinda meh though.
- on the upside, I like goat cheese sometimes. Who knew! And the bread with it was outstanding.
- oh right, the show. it’s really cool seeing what is basically a live podcast. It’s a neat reminder that no matter how cool something is on the interweb or on headphones, a live performance will always take poignancy to that next level. Even (or rather especially) if the show is just someone telling a story onstage with simple lighting.
- poignancy is probably the word of the eve. even though I liked some of the stories more than others, each one definitely struck an emotional cord. This is particularly strong coming from me, as my emotional cord hasn’t worked since 2003.
- even though the theme was ‘new york stories’ (which drew me in) I felt like these stories could have taken place anywhere and that the location was just wallpaper. I think as new yorkers, we have this tendency to categorize things as either ‘new yorky’ or ‘not new yorky enough’. I love new york and do this more often than not. maybe it’s not that things are ‘new yorky’. Maybe it’s just the ‘human condition’. maybe my emotional cord is more defective/destructive than I realized.
- I think it’s safe to say that everyone’s favorite story of the night was stanley alpert. he was once kidnapped at gunpoint (on his birthday), held for several hours, threatened with his savings account getting emptied and more. It wasn’t so much that this happened to him, or how he told the story (really well). it actually changed him and made his life better (or so it seems). These are the stories I love to believe in. when the worst thing becomes the best thing.
- ugh, look at this list, I’m like 3 items away from joining oprah’s book club. gross.
- have I mentioned that I love the upright bass? Perhaps the only upside to the rash of old timey bands sweeping the nyc music scene is that people are playing the upright bass again. oh, yeah, the point being the bass player (keith) would start playing when the stories hit the 10 min mark. That was really cool. I almost wish that people rambled more so I got to hear more bass.
- oh, and big ups to paul, the wicked cool sound engineer who talked to us. you have a dream job and don’t live in Brooklyn and talk like a normal person. only in new york.
Jobs of yesteryear and the reasons I would have been fired from them March 24, 2010
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124251060
- lector – would cigar rollers of cuba enjoyed my readings of lists about sandwiches? I would guess no. keanu reeves never got big there. Nor did haikus.
- elevator operator – who knew that elevators only worked that way in the movie about the chocolate factory
- copy boy – apparently editors don’t like when you annotate your thoughts on their copy
- pinsetter – sounds like the beginning of an old timey version of a ‘did you hear what happened to lisa in brooklyn?’ story. Five tuppins says I trip myself on the pins and sprain my ankle
- river driver – it would get old pretty fast when I kept telling people that I wore red flannel before it was cool. sounds cold, wet, and dangerous too. my parents used to get regular calls from summer camp saying I was not a strong swimmer.
- iceman – even in the roaring 20s, I suspect America wasn’t ready to see ‘slippery when wet’ tshirts and bumper stickers
- lamplighter – lisa+petticoats+ladder = the invention of the emergency room and the downfall of health care
- milkman – can’t you just see the headlines in the old timey post? ‘milkmaid exchanges clotted cream for biscuits and more: Connections to jam embezzlement sought. Industry udder’ly devastated’.
- switchboard operator – from what I can gather, giving love advice to callers in long distance relationships was strictly verboten.
- typist & typesetter – two different jobs that I would be fired from for the same reason. Scattering the word ‘meow’ throughout the documents.
Possible comments from my future shrink in observance of my phone habits March 23, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/23/health/23cases.html?ref=science
- for a device that is silenced, it holds a commanding power over you with particular regard to boys
- just because your dad texts you while he’s in therapy, does not mean that it’s helpful
- it is not a productive use of our time for me to figure out why your alarm clock app is wonky
- that’s a pretty weak Teeter score you got there. How does that make you feel?
- Gchat status bars are not the place to broadcast your ‘breakthroughs’
- does criticizing the carnal habits of your gay cousin make you feel better? and he’s not even your real cousin?
- why is that guy yelling?
- when I asked to see pictures of your family, you showed me one of your parents, one of your quasi gay cousin, one of your ¼ cat, and about 17 microbrew and sandwich shots. What do YOU think that means?
- sped is not appropriate contact name for someone
- no you cannot liveblog our sessions
Thoughts I’ve had during the last 12 (twelve) days without coffee due to my lingering cold/plague March 22, 2010
- person talking to lisa in the morning: blah blah blah blah. lisa: I hate you, I don’t care, I hate you.
- why is everyone yelling
- a gaggle of women at work are trying to talk to me and I have no coffee to mitigate. It’s like I’m mormon with multiple wives and no caffeine. None of the wives have made me chicken soup.
- the only thing making this remotely livable is getting to have honey in my tea. I wish someone would beekeep with me.
- I wonder if putting honey in coffee makes it good for a cold. Anyone tried it? do I even care at this point.
- I wonder if this means I don’t have to do Passover since I have already made the greatest sacrifice one can make
- today was not the day to send me a forward
- I want my bamf hour back
- sorry, I haven’t spent all day thinking about what your best qualities are. Oh. That was out loud.
- holy mother of god that man sitting next to me on the train smells amazing. oh. It’s his coffee. I could totally lick his face.
Come hive with me March 15, 2010
Reasons YOU should consider a joint beekeeping endeavor with me once it’s legal
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/15/science/earth/15bees.html?src=me&ref=general
- do you really think it’s a good idea that I handle 20,000 bees alone?
- 100 pounds of honey!!! I could break a honeyeating world record! There isn’t even one on the books!!!
- Dude, we could make an entire cookbook’s worth of food with that.
- see what happened? It started with beekeeping and I just got in the kitchen and made you amazing baked goods.
- perhaps beekeeping is the gateway drug of domesticity for me
- it would probably lead to me having the entire rooftop completely to myself…and YOURSELF
- which would definitely keep me off the streets
- Lost is ending soon
- didn’t you say you always wanted a pet bee?
- we wouldn’t have allergies anymore and it might help with the whole mosquito bite issue
- “it’s such a positive, happy thing to do.” You love positive happy things!
- we’d get to dress up like the ghostbusters all summer!
- http://www.nyc-bees.org/coregroup.html how hot is adam?
- queens never does anything sustainable and Brooklyn is watching and laughing
- BISCUITS
thoughts that contributed to my smartphone’s suicide attempt when it decided it couldn’t take it anymore and jumped into my glass of wine March 8, 2010
- if I tell her how Lost ends, maybe she’ll stop watching episode after episode. THE ISLAND TRAVELS THROUGH TIME IDIOT.
- why does this bitch keep checking me, you KNOW no one called. depressing!
- YES THE RINGER IS ON AND IT IS WORKING
- for a former english major, she really sucks at boggle
- oh no, not the youtube app, it can only mean one thing. taylor swift’s ‘you belong with me’. again. with the tearful sing-a-long. !@#$
- oh and now you want to text him. THAT’S a good idea. I can’t freeze the screen every time you make a bad decision you know.
- what exactly do you intend to use your photoshop app for? Ha, you can’t figure it out.
- and really, you know the neato looking compass will just confuse you
- you saw daylight savings marked on your calendar and got excited thinking you had something to do. Sucka. ::hangs camera lens in shame::
- I KNOW you didn’t just shazam a depressing Pink song.
- ‘sad bastard’ is not a genre on Pandora that either of us need to listen to
- I understand you have a checkers ‘strategy’, but you keep losing to an unchanged algorithm who doesn’t care about your intense need to feel some sense of success in life
- you should be googling psychotherapists instead of fish tacos
- I can assure you that no one is interested whatever you are considering liveblogging
- dude, when writing an email, the Send button is on the left and the Discard button is on the right. IT’S NOT THAT HARD AND THEY ARE CLEARLY MARKED AHHHHHHHH. That’s it. goodbye cruel world. Tell apple I’m sorry for that whole patent thing. I have suffered everyday since.
Concert review: Tally Hall, Jukebox the Ghost, bowery ballroom 3.5.10 March 5, 2010
- why are there no good dive bars right by there? We went to the weirdest place ever first. 2 for 1 alchy lemonade is the best way to start one’s night.
- am I too old to be going to these kind of late shows on a school night? probably. Do I care? not so much. But seriously, 7:30 means the first of three bands should go on no later than 8.
- opening band, who I can’t quite remember so I will call S-box. You were really fun. thanks for playing. Sorry, it’s hard to remember details of 3 bands who sound similar. But seriously, this was a really perfect and appropriate lineup of acts. Big ups to the booking agent!
- is there a new trend of old timey big band type music seeping into rock music? I’ve been seeing a lot of it lately (see also: benefit for Haiti). I like it. it’s nice to see rock being fun again. I’ve had enough of the scruffy sad bastards playing guitar. Anyone can play guitar.
- jukebox the ghost, I looooved you. again, really fun, old timey band sound. Stellar energy. You made me feel young again.
- catchy song of the week: ‘hold it in’. download it, listen to it, let it seep into your subconscious. Not totally unlike the band fun. whom I also really love these days. I hope I remember to buy the album.
- random MC in the audience who kept yelling and asking the bands to give him ‘two bars’. Your name was terrific? Something like that. seriously, book your own shows. it’s not that hard.
- ok, Tally Hall. What a great following of the young people you have and yet I’ve never heard of you. good hype. Great facial hair.
- and yes, you guessed it, matching vest suits. like the old timey big bands.
- so, started off kinda slow. I was a bit bored and fidgety for the first few songs. but man, the playing was damn tight. It’s nice that people are practicing and not relying on buzz alone. And they even wanted to talk about feelings!
- what’s this, an intermission followed by a relocation to the audience area. Surrounded by lamps that could be from your parents house. turned on. gimmicky, sure, but who doesn’t love being asked to sit on the beer sticky floor at an nyc venue after standing for like 3 hours. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
- had I been told I would be waiting for a fairly acoustic set, I would have left, but it wasn’t at all slow, still fun and still tight. When people talk about ‘intimate shows’ THAT’S what they’re talking about.
- oh my god, horn players in the balcony popping up just like in ‘love actually’. Ahhhhhhhhh! Makes you realize the great acoustics the place has. And adorable. And perfect. And much better than the usual ‘horn playing’ you’d expect in dark balconies.
- none of the songs stood out, but only because they were all consistently really good and equally catchy. This is another album I would totally buy. Again, bands making music people actually want to listen to. Yay!
- kudos to the lead singer, the whole time I really thought he was looking at me. that is hard to pull off. again, intimate.
- no one likes teenagers/early twenties’ers less than I do. But the audience was really perfect. Kudos kids!
- a recorder AND a ukulele. Score! how retro.
- I really love when the bands who tour together play together. Especially when they have similar sounds and actually CAN play together.
- ok, so you’re covering Cecelia. And you know what, you are rocking it. something about the collaboration, the audience singing, and everything made it absolutely the most perfect song to end with. Well played.
- 4 years of college bars made me loathe the song, but I am now ready to welcome it back into my life. Or at least my head, where it’s resided since leaving the show.
Rejected taglines for national grammar day March 4, 2010
- the subject of my affection & effection
- dude, where’s my conjunction?
- a failure to conjugate is a conjugation of failure
- I don’t know, CAN you?
- whom are you?
- there’s no I in Adverbs
- one nation under an umlaut
- overcoming interjections in the face of unbeatable objects
- you can’t take the effect and make it the clause
- comma comma comma comma comma chameleon
- the unbearable antecedent of agreement
- the fragments of my mind
- passive’fy my heart
- you can handle the proof…reading
- apostrophes NOW
