Things Lisa and I have done, either together or alone, at least 30 times, if not more, and survived:
1 – invent words
2 – invent games
3 – do tequila shots
4 – have impasses
5 – drink entire bottles of wine
6 – alienate our friends/family
7 – talk about hands
8 – run like show ponies or phoebe from friends
9 – watch taylor swift videos
10 – fall down
the funniest things lori ever said to me, or at least the only ones i can remember right now. naturally, some of them are better in context. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUERTO RICO!!!
1 – “that’s not the girl he came out of the bathroom with”
2 – “you went to trivia without me?!”
3 – “he’s my longest relationship after verizon” (fyi this is not in reference to a significant other)
4 – “i didn’t ask if you cleaned out your vagina”
5 – “why do you hang out with people that aren’t us?”
6 – “did they just say sesame chicken?”
7 – “i like how you say very straight, like there are those who are slightly straight”
8 – “you can’t make me put vinegar on my french fries”
9 – “don’t laugh at me, i’m wonderful”
10 – “my father is more of a jewish mother than my mother ever was”
Things Jian and I could do, and have done, together for endless hours:
1 – talk about award shows
2 – dissect the meaning of a song lyric
3 – search for an obscure food or drink in any city we happen to be in, including our own
4 – tweet
5 – debate who’s sluttier, bitchier, etc. (spoiler alert: it’s neither of us)
6 – talk at, not to, each other
7 – argue, but not really argue, about extremely trivial things like what neighborhood one of our college friends lived in (seriously, this exact conversation has happened like three times)
8 – consume british popular culture
9 – taste wine
10 – unintentionally make our friends think we hate each other
11 – quote our favorite comedians/movies/TV shows/songs/each other
12 – take pictures
13 – pretend to be a couple (but not for a condom commercial, because that just makes no sense)
14 – plan trips down to the most minute detail
15 – annoy people by the busload with all of the above
xoxo!
-rachel
Keanu films that best aptly reflect how I am feeling
Things That Guy Has Brought Into My Life That Usually Make It Better
so yeah this was tough. Rachel is the best best friend anyone could want and meeting her was perhaps the most awesome thing that could have happened to me. its beyond my abilities as a writer to give her a proper bday tribute, but she’ll understand. Cause she’s the best.
stuff about him that’s cool
so, joking aside, I really just want to take a moment to let ted know how much I love him in this, and all moments. he came into my life so haphazardly and we are all truly truly blessed to be able to call him a best friend. he has one of the biggest hearts of anyone out there and over the last few years and especially the last year or so, has always been there when I’ve needed or wanted him. being friends with ted actually makes you feel like a better, cooler, and luckier person. cheers to you ted, while I would give anything to be spending this day with you, I am so glad you were born and I hope you have a wonderful day and a gazillion more great moments.
1 – nobody would ever understand what i was talking about
2 – the world would never know brilliant musical oeuvres such as “bangin’ eyes” and “asian nympho”
3 – i am not equipped to invent sports like kooshlintball on my own
4 – there has to be one person in the world, besides my dad, who will never be on facebook
5 – mr. beefy was created to be loved without measure
6 – the snuggie needs as many fans as it can get – seriously, i’m worried that nobody knows about it
7 – nobody else interesting was born on the same day – i’m looking at you, laura dern. what have you done for me lately?
8 – everyone needs to know how awesome teddy is. she’s a one-woman street team for the gct.
9 – all those episodes of friends don’t just watch themselves
10 – all those beers don’t just drink themselves
11 – she was there when debbie said that beer can take her to a higher plateau and we really need to make sure that memory never dies
12 – keanu’s not dumb, he’s just misunderstood. she understands him.
13 – she tells you really important things via hysterical notes in boring classes. and keeps the notes.
14 – brunch would be sooooooooo boring … and short
15 – she owns some really cool t-shirts, and wears them sometimes. hey, what ever happened to “i survived the conversion”?
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