- it took a half hour, but rachel gave up my computer and is letting me liveblog. SUCKA.
- wow, aliens from the planet of Shortsequineddresses have landed and taken over
- lady gaga snagged kermit. last i checked, he married miss piggy in muppets take manhattan. i guess frogs are just as toady as human men.
- where’s keanu?
- if my heart could write songs when it was 12 years old, they would sound like taylor swift’s.
- for years i was saying that they should remake Fame and make it a bastardized yet sassy version of the original. finally!
- i love when they have commercials for the show you’re watching WHILE you’re watching it
- where’s drake from degrassi?
- ok, stupid question. why is twilight all over this show? isn’t that what the MTV Movie Awards are for?
- DAMNIT there’s a documentary on Kid n’PLay on at the same time as these awards. damnit!
- new game: is it a commercial for Fame or JC Penney’s
- OMG THE BEASTIE BOYS WON A VMA AND THEY HAVEN’T EVEN RELEASED THEIR ALBUM. cause they’re THAT good. booyah.
- oh. their new album was supposed to come out this week and it’s not gonna. sad again.
- omg it’s starting. i’m giddy. it’s like being 19 again and not yet hating life.
- quote: rachel: wasn’t it better when brooke shields spoke about michael jackson? they had a connection. it was touching. lisa: so was michael jackson
- hey madonna, stick to rolling around the floor in tulle and leave the emotional discourse to taylor swift
- fucking Thriller reenactment. AGAIN. its like Jam never fucking happened!
- who are these dancers anyways?
- i really want to watch Captain EO. even if it wasn’t in 3D it would be so much more entertaining than this.
- why is russell brand yelling?
- why does lady gaga look like she’s in traction? OH WAIT, I GET IT. IT’S HER POKERFACE!
- he’s still yelling. he just said he was half harry potter. i told you, magic DOES do more harm than good.
- wow, i’ve never been bored to hear people talk about wolves before
- OH MY GOD I’M HAVING STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT A CATEGORY. I CAN’T PICK MY FAVORITE FEMALE VIDEO.
- OMG TAYLOR SWIFT WON!!!!!!! I FEEL AWESOME! i mean…i have no opinion on this outcome whatsoever.
- kanye you ruined taylor swift’s moment. i’m going to do all the awful things i said i was gonna do to teddy to you instead.
- the house band for this show is the polar opposite of the Roots in the sense that the roots are awetastic and this band is the worst band in the history of bands
- it’s sad when jack black is unfunny. where’s taylor swift?
- wait, coldplay counts as rock now?
- wow, green day sounds like weezer now?
- wait, terrence thinks that weezer’s blue album is better than pinkerton. uh.
- omg taylor swift takes the subway just like me. i love her! AHHHHHHHHHHH
- this song is my life
- omg she doesn’t know how to ride the subway, that’s so cute!
- i’m still on the bleachers. frown.
- why can’t lady gaga be more like taylor swift?
- big ups for bedazzler usage
- this song isn’t good. and she’s bleeding grape juice.
- new game: lady gaga or where the wild things are
- sorry green day, taylor swift has ruined me for the rest of the vma’s
- @the new moon trailer. um. hmmm. um. well, luckily jian is saying it all, so i don’t have to say a damn thing.
- for the record, i would soooo tap the werewolf over the metrosexual vampire
- nate from gossip girl is nothing to me. where the f is chuck bass.
- new game: sports illustrated shoot or beyonce performance
- i’d call it a guilty pleasure to love the song ‘single ladies’ but whatevs, it’s dang catchy.
- oh good. the single ladies have multiplied to reflect the actual number of single ladies in this city.
- wow, lady gaga’s pokerface just got pokier
- she dedicated her award to the gays. i dedicate my life to the gays. i win. at gay.
- hmm pink is gonna do a circus routine shouldn’t it be to the song funhouse? yeah, lisa watched mtv on her flight home from chicago. 25 minutes of mtv and i’m totally up to date on music.
- dude, i go to chicago for one fucking weekend and all of a sudden i curse, i get sick, and i love taylor swift
- this house band is still really bad
- wow, the video of the year goes to a video featuring a woman in a bathing suit shaking her junk. the movie ‘idiocracy’ is real and is happening.
- omg taylor! thank you from distracting me from lady gaga’s cowardly lion ensemble.
- and i would like to thank taylor for thanking me for blogging. yeah, she thanked me! she would respect my decision to live offline.
- aaaaaaaand we’re done. peace.
liveblogging the VMA’s September 13, 2009
movie review: star trek [spoiler alert] May 16, 2009
- oooh, my first look at the preview for G.I. Joe. i heart summer blockbusters.
- this movie started with an underage car chase set to the song ‘sabotage’ by the beastie boys and there really is no finer way for anything to begin. bravo.
- harold, you have come a long way from adventures in white castle and have done me proud
- eva rodriguez, you went to a special space academy. way to go!
- spock. you’re just hot and completely mesmerizing and i say without a bit of irony that i would totally tap that vulcan ass.
- omg i just imdb’d you and you’re really hot in real life. OMG you played a ‘hip student’ on an episode of six feet under. i knew i loved you before i met you.
- it may have been that i was tired, but i was kinda confused throughout this movie
- so what they’re trying to tell me, after three years in the academy, when they have a whole ship full of academics and professionals who have been doing this for decades, they get to run the show? harold couldn’t even start the damn ship!
- it was as if we went back in time to our junior year of college as english majors and were put in charge of congress. or if george w. bush got to be president.
- how come its ok for spock to hang out with himself from the future, but in the back to the future it would have caused the end of the world?
- and how was it possible that spocks full on vulcan dad could be in love when they don’t have those emotions?
- in fact, how did that planet ever get populated if no one had hormones?
- if spock was able to go back in time, couldn’t he have prevented his planet from imploding? or at least push his mom back a few steps so she didn’t collapse with the rocks?
- really, all of the shenanigans could have been easily prevented via time travel
- but then they wouldn’t have gained a lifetime’s worth of wisdom
- but wait, didn’t kirk’s dad end up living somehow?
- so how did he end up scamming his way into being an ill prepared captain [even though spock was hella smarter]
- ahhhhhhhhhh paradoxes make my head hurt. i’m so confused.
- spock, it’s a good thing you’re so hot
- eva, if you were anyone else, i’d have to put you on the rocks
Reasons why 60% of the time I love reading http://gothamist.com/ all the time April 8, 2009
- they read all the papers, so I don’t have to
- it makes me feel new yorky
- when I read the times, they usually summarize just the articles I really liked, thus earning my trust
- I like when they use a picture from something pop cultury (You Can’t Do That on Television, the Simpsons) to illustrate an article about something similar
- I’m not at all a foodie and yet it’s not Wednesday without the midweek nyc restaurant review roundup
- they were genius enough to start sending emails first thing in the AM so I can plan for any local special happenings that day
- the writing is informative and yet very sassy and clever
- I love that I know the names of the two main contributors/editors (jen chung & jake dobkin) and that I know jen loves pandas
- they enable my distaste for brooklyn
- they have versions of gothamist for other cities and every Sunday they summarize the biggest stories from each ‘ist’ and it is the one thing I look forward to looking at on Mondays
- they totally humor staten island in pretending they’re a real borough
- they make fun of nyu kids
- before they did weekly concert reviews, they randomly reviewed the beastie boys show at mccarren pool that rocked my world cause it was the greatest show of all time and they had a picture where you can clearly see me right up front. It was the best night of my life. http://gothamist.com/2007/08/10/beastie_boys_bo.php
- they’ve written about steve’s pies TWICE and they once helped steve find his lost dog! http://gothamist.com/2005/12/01/steve_tarpin_st.php
http://gothamist.com/2006/06/10/the_hungry_cabb_3.php
- best interview ever: http://gothamist.com/2007/08/07/adam_horovitz_m.php
Things I am mega excited for this spring/summer April 1, 2009
- gay cousin ted’s visit (I could break down the itinerary, but it’s just too much awesomeness)
- the possibility that this will inspire gay cousin ted to blog again
- seeing the beastie boys whom are the greatest band of all time*
- hopefully getting out of the bitter barn and playing in the hay
- seeing the national twice who are one of five things to come out of Brooklyn that I don’t hate
- attending massive amounts of mets games allowing me to eat massive amounts of shake shackery
- the possibility that the mets will not let me down like they do every season and like every man I know does
- revisiting the life altering experience of seeing perry farrell, jerry cantrell, and tom morello** play together.
- seeing dépêche mode and U2 whom are two of the most iconic bands of our lifetimes
- WOLVERINE
* tickets go on sale thursday at noon and I am not to be disturbed
**jerry cantrell and tom morello are the greatest guitarists of all time
The best things to ever happen to me March 2, 2009
1) Rachel
2) beer
3) Gin
4) Snugs
5) The replacements
6) The concert I saw with slash, jerry Cantrell, tom morello and perry Farrell
7) The beastie boys show at mccarren pool
8) The ipod
9) [the sandwich king of] astoria
10) Quiche
11) Coffee 12) My Cynthia Rowley bag
13) Gct
14) Boca burgers/fake bacon
15) Ticketmaster, for better, or worse
Brett, you’ve got it goin’ on January 5, 2009
So on Saturday night we crashed a birthday party for a guy named Brett. He was hysterical. He loved our music choices, made funny faces, chugged a beer in five seconds, and is the only person so far that we’ve forgiven for wearing a yankees hat. So in honor of him, here’s a list of fun things to do with Brett:
1 – go to a beastie boys concert
2 – scarf shopping
3 – a mets/yankees game
4 – karaoke
5 – go-karting
6 – watching a movie with subtitles
7 – market research
8 – ride a bicycle built for two
9 – bowhunting
10 – play charades
