The Slow Gin Fizz

…and you’re welcome

feelings i had yesterday about my jenlain ambree beer April 18, 2010

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 11:58 am
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i tried to liveblog this, but liveblogging is really hard in the presence of greatness. my phone is too smart.

1) this is so good, i need to liveblog drinking it
2) my friends late. Jen is my new friend. We share.
3) i love drinking out of the engourged chimay glasses
4) hehe, i said engourged
5) omg my friend JUST got here and i’m drunk
6) this is really amazing beer
7) anyone know what ambree is? Besides french? its amazing. Not like los mets. Yes have some.
9) omg cheryl is quoting me on facespace! i’m so happy
10) i really love cheryl and cheese beer. In that order. Er maybe.

ps- jimmy’s 43 really is the happiest place on earth

 

Ways To Celebrate Memorial Day May 25, 2009

Filed under: Guest Blog — theslowginfizz @ 12:18 pm
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(without putting flowers or plants on graves) 

Guest blog by Gay Cousin Teddy

1. Drink a bottle of gin, and pour one out for the homies. 
2. BBQ involving a plethora of meats 
3. Call your gay cousin 
4. Watch Cruel Intentions (just because)
5. Stay in bed
6. Write a Memorial Day haiku (Lisa?) 
7. Grab a beer at the local VFW
8. Watch Gone With the Wind, Glory and other civil war movies to gain the perspectives of both the North and South
9. Did you know that Memorial Day was first enacted to honor Union soldiers who fell in the Civil War? 
10. Drink an indigenous beer while humming “When Johnny Comes Marching Home” 

Disclaimer: I happen to have a lot of respect to those who have served or are currently serving in our armed forces. This guest blog is not meant to disrespect those whom we remember today and does not represent the views of the ladies of the Slow Gin Fizz.

 

Bar Review: Studio Square (the new LIC beer garden) May 17, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists,bar review — theslowginfizz @ 9:36 am
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  1. it is on my street. sure, a few avenues away, but ON my street.  i love my neighborhood.
  2. thank god, something to catch the overflow of the throngs of drunken buffoons that flock to the regular beer garden and lead to me getting body slammed.
  3. i think the ground here was cement cobblestones, so if i did get body slammed, it would probably hurt more
  4. there’s a pretty substantial indoor area making it seem like the kind of place i’d consider going to even when i can’t be outside. i like their old timey sign.
  5. they actually have covered outdoor parts, which is kinda cool cause you can be outside when it’s raining.
  6. the crowd seemed slightly more indigenous than the crowd at the beer garden on a saturday
  7. and my, was there ever a crowd
  8. i didn’t really eat, which was dumb, but the bits of pretzel that i had were awesome and so cheap
  9. the bathrooms are cool. weird UV hand dryer. i had watching my skin ripple under hand dryers. freaks me out.
  10. FIRE PIT
  11. abita light is a great light summer beer and i wish i could marry it and have like 10,000 of it’s fetal alcohol syndrome babies
  12. i’m not sure where the trend of really long benches at bars started, but i like it
  13. omg the music was so random. and by random, i mean awesome.  i’ve never heard that much rod stewart at a bar ever. actually, i don’t think i’ve ever heard rod stewart at a bar.
  14. it brings me great joy that me and rachel’s game ‘guess the next artist in the queue’ has caught on
  15. no one won the game, but we all won at beer garden. though, i think i’ll still rely on the old trusty beer garden for happy hours during the work week.
 

highlights from my night at desmond’s March 29, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 1:16 am
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  1. i overcaffeinated
  2. if i spelled that right, it’s a miracle. i’m so drunk.
  3. it’s funny when guys in a band dress like caterers
  4. the sound there sucks ass
  5. yet, the bands that play there are awesome
  6. it has been way too long since i saw a solid bar fight break out
  7. you wouldn’t think it, but musicians are scrappy
  8. is it wrong that i get oddly turned on by guys fighting?
  9. it’s probably just my body purging itself of ultimate fighting
  10. and all things brooklyn
 

Shameless self promotion: I totally won a haiku contest! March 27, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 8:47 am
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http://www.mediabistro.com/unbeige/contests/unbeige_design_haiku_contest_winners_112274.asp

 

now that I have achieved widespread fame and glory, it’s time I started writing my memoirs. in haiku of course. here’s some excerpts from the early drafts:

 

should I get a perm?

‘totally!’ she says. Thanks jess,

you were some best friend.

 

 

College moving day!

Ah, a dave matthews poster.

I hated that bitch.

 

 

Tuesday, 4AM

No I’m not from craigslist son!

Delete my number.

 

 

Dearest Keanu,

My love is without bounds. But…

Stop trying accents.

 

 

one so’ co and lime.

and a rolling rock please. my,

look how far i’ve come.

 

The best things to ever happen to me March 2, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 3:34 pm
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1) Rachel

2) beer

3) Gin

4) Snugs

5) The replacements

6) The concert I saw with slash, jerry Cantrell, tom morello and perry Farrell

7) The beastie boys show at mccarren pool

8)  The ipod

9)  [the sandwich king of] astoria

10) Quiche

11) Coffee 12) My Cynthia Rowley bag

13) Gct

14) Boca burgers/fake bacon

15) Ticketmaster, for better, or worse

 

The Same, But Different March 1, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists,Rachel's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 5:43 pm
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sometimes people find it hard to tell lisa and rachel apart.  here is a handy guide for such people:

1 – rachel is a stickler for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and word choice.  lisa is not.

2 – rachel enjoys being girly, i.e. makeup, heels, dresses.  lisa does not.

3 – rachel likes her balls salty, lisa prefers them sweet.

4 – lisa loves beer like some people love their children.  beer is poison to rachel.

5 – lisa loves and cares about animals.  rachel would prefer the world was rid of them.

6 – rachel enjoys the marketing and media industries.  lisa would prefer the world was rid of them.

7 – rachel sings at karaoke.  lisa watches karaoke.

8 – lisa kicks rachel’s ass at checkers.  rachel kicks lisa’s ass at connect four.

9 – lisa prefers to text.  rachel prefers to call.

10 – rachel likes stand-up comedy.  lisa likes to sit down and not laugh.

11 – rachel is on many social networking websites.  lisa will never be on any ever again.

12 – lisa’s damaged body parts include her stomach and her back.  rachel’s eyes and teeth are f’ed up.  both of their livers are beyond repair.

13 – rachel’s memory is scarily precise.  lisa often inserts the wrong people into memories.

14 – rachel appreciates a good pun/buzzword.  lisa almost kills rachel every time she uses one.

15 – rachel is quite bitchy, yet advocates being part of society.  lisa has more manners, yet would prefer not to be part of society.

 

It Would Suck If Lisa Was Never Born Because… February 9, 2009

Filed under: Birthday Love,Rachel's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 10:10 pm
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1 – nobody would ever understand what i was talking about

2 – the world would never know brilliant musical oeuvres such as “bangin’ eyes” and “asian nympho”

3 – i am not equipped to invent sports like kooshlintball on my own

4 – there has to be one person in the world, besides my dad, who will never be on facebook

5 – mr. beefy was created to be loved without measure

6 – the snuggie needs as many fans as it can get – seriously, i’m worried that nobody knows about it

7 – nobody else interesting was born on the same day – i’m looking at you, laura dern.  what have you done for me lately?

8 – everyone needs to know how awesome teddy is.  she’s a one-woman street team for the gct.

9 – all those episodes of friends don’t just watch themselves

10 – all those beers don’t just drink themselves

11 – she was there when debbie said that beer can take her to a higher plateau and we really need to make sure that memory never dies

12 – keanu’s not dumb, he’s just misunderstood.  she understands him.

13 – she tells you really important things via hysterical notes in boring classes.  and keeps the notes.

14 – brunch would be sooooooooo boring … and short

15 – she owns some really cool t-shirts, and wears them sometimes.  hey, what ever happened to “i survived the conversion”?

 

reasons to love gin January 30, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 1:08 pm
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2009 is officially the year of gin and let us all hope it is more successful than 2008, the year of sake, aka the year of yacking on a curb for the first time in my life.

1. gin is flavoured with juniper berries (some varieties of which are toxic!)

2. the most common type of gin is London dry gin and I’ve been told that some of our readers here like british things

3. gin evolved from the dutch spirits jonge and oude and originated in the Netherlands in the 17th century. i love dutch things the way you people love british things.

4. gin was sold in pharmacies and used to treat such medical problems as kidney ailments, lumbago, stomach ailments, gallstones, and gout

5. in england, after the glorious revolution (which after a quick read, seems like it was actually pretty glorious) it was made from grain that isn’t good enough to brew beer with. HA!

6. gin was so popular in england that it caused enough death from alcohol related afflictions to stabilize the skyrocketing population

7. as late as 1913, common gin was flavoured with turpentine

8. in tropical british colonies, gin was used to mask the bitter flavour of quinine, a protection against malaria, which was dissolved in carbonated water to form tonic water. This was the origin of today’s popular gin and tonic.

9. the national gin museum is in hasselt, Belgium

10. sloe gin is a common ready-sweetened form of gin that is traditionally made by infusing sloes (the fruit of the blackthorn) in gin.

 

rodeo review January 9, 2009

Filed under: Lisa's Lists — theslowginfizz @ 11:49 pm
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  1. i forgot how much i love pyrotechnics. it was 1987 all over again!
  2. it was a bit of a downer that they weren’t selling any rodeo-centric food at the concession stands
  3. i had no idea that so many people with cowboy hats lives in the new york metropolitan area
  4. where did they get all the dirt from?
  5. yes, there was probably some cruelty to animals at work but i don’t see peta protesting outside the bangkok brothels that sell young girls into the sex slave trade
  6. the bull riders came from all sorts of countries like australia and brazil. who knew that in sao paolo, the most violent city in the world, people will put down their sawed offs for a night of bull riding.
  7. riding a bull for 8 seconds doesn’t seem all that hard, since a lot of people were able to do it. they might want to raise the bar. or just keep the clock going.
  8. being a rodeo clown gives you the right to do a lot of stupid white boy dancing. new job!
  9. it was fun, but really repetitive. especially if you don’t know how the scoring works or have any idea when it ends. it would be easier if they had goals and touchdowns.
  10. you get to pick a song to bull ride to. i am IN! rachel is a really good sport.