- wine & cookies! this is a great idea
- OMG BRAD FROM TEEN WITCH IS THE CO-PILOT AHHHHHHHHHHH.
- it takes me a half hour to remember someone’s birthday but that i can tell in 2 seconds. awesome.
- omg sayid was hot when he got off the island. and dang does he know his scotch
- kate is such a baby stealer
- hurley and miles are discussing time travel and implications of time. this night just became more important than when i lost my virginity.
- damn, i didn’t think i’d be so sad to see the baby stealer give the baby back
- ugh, i hate crying drunk
- wow, i still don’t like sawyer. come to think of it, i don’t like any of these people. save for hurley, sun, and jin. respectively.
- just my luck, they’re like barely in these episodes
- 1970s magical island looks dangerously like 2010 williamsburg
- sigh, young ben is so precious. ew, wtf am i saying, i hate kids and ben.
- his eyes are so creepy
- wow, lose the glasses and he kinda looks and sounds like justin bieber. or do all kids just look the same?
- omg 1970s charles widmore is so hippy
- whoa, when you go to google charles wi, charles widmore is more popular than charles wilson
- crap. i get more confused when i watch this drunk.
- ceasar’s accent and nationality are really incongruous. i really hope i used that word right. oh wait, no one reads this! yay bad spelling grammar!
- ugh, all these episodes are about kids. gross.
- aww, ben is having feelings. weird.
- i like john locke better when he’s dead
- you know what would’ve ruled, if charles widmore was played by charleston heston
- hmmm. charles widmore looks weird in his 40s/50s. he should only be really young and dashing or really old and sophisticated. does that make me ageist in addition to sexist?
- i hate women. except sun, she’s cool.
- this is fun! my life should be a continual loop of me watching Lost and 6 Feet Under
- hehe. Ben just said ‘mutual friend’. rachel’s gonna be maaaad.
- ben and his people built a wall around the temple. i am curious as to how they obtained tools and supplies to build such an elaborate piece of fence
- holy crap, penny and desmond’s kid is adorable and looks just like justin from the ORIGINAL MOVIE parenthood featuring <3keanu reeves<3
- penny is awesome. she is the only non sun woman on the show that i don’t hate.
- whoa, that’s what it looks like when people bleed underwater? that’s awesome. OMG, ULTIMATE FIGHTING IN UNDERWATER OCTAGONS. someone remember the brilliance for me. yay interweb!
- ben is actually really accident prone. how the deuce did he become leader. oh wait, i should know that by now shouldn’t i?
- OMG INSIDE THE SMOKE MONSTER AHHHH
- OMG ALEX AHHHH FEELINGS AHHHH
- wow, alex has great eye makeup in the afterlife
- hehe, when she’s angry, alex has the same intonation as adam sandler in ‘the wedding singer’
- ok, my wasted heart has had enough
livefeelingblog: Lost, mid season 5 April 8, 2010
advice given to me by others during my latest dating maelstrom April 7, 2010
- have a drink
- cut down on the drinking
- raise the bar (metaphorically, not alcoholically. my bad.)
- move to the west coast
- stop going there (brooklyn)
- be less independent
- be more independent
- dress skankier
- treat men poorly
- date a hispanic cop
- maybe not participate in passover this year
- go to church/pray
- read ‘The Secret’
- go on more dates
- stop dating for a while
Summertime Wishlist April 5, 2010
- get a respectable tan
- hook up with someone not too unfortunate looking at a wedding
- no dates and definitely no leaning against the door
- see an outdoor concert fest
- thus allowing me to eat awful outdoor concert food aka funnel cake
- find an excuse for spending time in red hook eating nearly illegal amounts of steve’s authentic key lime pie
- learn the words to my summer anthem ‘feel me flow’ by naughty by nature
- find someone with a backyard and barbeque whom I don’t hate
- create a new signature summer drink to rival the awesomeness of 2009’s ‘michael jackson’
- take a train someplace far
- avoid boston and philly
- find a vendor of fresh honey that isn’t Whole Foods
- drink many beers outside
- clean my room
- go to some awesome 30th birthday parties
- avoid television with feelings
- avoid feelings full stop
- see many outdoor movies
- muy Los Mets
- sick amounts of outdoor brunching
Favorite things to do with my bestie Rachel April 1, 2010
- use the word bestie in a TOTALLY unironic way
- drink coffee ie having International Café moments (jean luuuuuc!)
- talk about our feelings in a completely constructive, life affirming manner
- PILLOW FIGHT!
- fantasize about being a mommy someday
- go to see jam bands
- put on our best flannel and heels to hit the streets of Williamsburg
- bake (btdubs, my apron totally rox! LOLZ!)
- have SATC marathons (spunk! ewwww!)
- get out of the city on the weekends (JERSEY SHORE BITCH!!!)
- hug it out
- shooooooe shopping!!!
- write poetry
- be AWESOME wingmen for each other
- MANI/PEDIS 4-EVA!!!
happy april fool’s fools, xoxo!
<3lisa
Alternate titles for the song “feeling good” if it were written to reflect my dating manifest for the past few years March 29, 2010
- feeling pretty gosh darn bad
- feeling awesome (psych!)
- feeling unsure of the proper way to spell ‘psych’ in this context
- feeling somewhat embarrassed by my drunk texting
- but am still feeling that it is better than drunk dialing
- feeling good about vodka
- feeling stupid and wrong
- feeling nauseous. hope it’s not morning sickness! jk.
- feeling like maybe I should watch other shows besides 6 Feet Under and Lost
- feeling grateful that only five people read this blog
Things I Would Never Expect Lisa To Say (Volume 1) August 25, 2009
1 – that keanu should take some acting classes.
2 – i think i want cake at my wedding instead of pie.
3 – what’s a text message?
4 – wait, i have to make a phone call.
5 – can we start planning my birthday party now? i can’t wait!!!!
6 – this would taste better if it wasn’t a sandwich.
7 – don’t remind me, i’ll remember on my own.
8 – feelings are my favorite.
9 – isn’t that an improper use of the word “effect”?
10 – i’ve been apartment hunting in brooklyn.
Things I would never expect Rachel to say (volume 1) August 25, 2009
- I like pop, and I like culture, but I don’t like pop culture
- dance movies are not nearly cerebral enough for me to enjoy them
- set my hair on fire? heavens to betsy no!
- cursing at the table in a nice restaurant should be done as quietly as possible, if it must be done at all
- the suburbs DO have better schools and more space…
- your mom jokes are extremely inappropriate
- british accents are so annoying, especially when it’s dudes singing
- weddings are a time for respectful celebration of the love between two people and should be treated with the greatest of dignities
- I would rather not discuss my feelings at this junction, though if I must, let me proceed without intoxication and pitchiness
- lisa, I couldn’t agree with you more
Wedding reception or 1st Birthday Party? June 29, 2009
I have a sneaking suspicion that I went to a wedding reception yesterday under the pretext of a child’s 1st birthday party. Here’s what I remember, so you tell me what you think:
- It took place at Ariana Waterfall. Yes, there were waterfalls.
- We were told that the appropriate dress for this party was semi-formal.
- Jian and Rachel posed for wedding photos under what looked like this.
- There was assigned seating. I was at table 13. closest to the…
- DJ. There was a DJ.
- Said DJ played songs like, Celebration, Electric Slide, Cha-cha Slide, and other various songs featured in movies like The Wedding Date & My Best Friend’s Wedding
- And when I did what I do best with DJs, he told me that he was told this was going to be a wedding.
- After we all got settled in the dinner room from the cocktail hour, the DJ announced that there was going to be a first dance and that it was “man’s choice.” So the father of the baby chose the mother of the baby for this dance. Then everyone started clinking their knives on their champagne flutes (oh, cause everyone was served champagne) to get the “parents” to kiss. And they did.
- The father made a toast.
- I told the “parents” that I was happy to be sharing their joyous occasion with them.
To be fair, we did sing happy birthday and Rachel held a baby without the world stopping so it’s possible I’m overanalyzing this.
-Duped Guest Blogger Lori
TV & Music Review: Glee – Guest Blog by Lori May 21, 2009
“Lori had a religious experience watching glee last night.” Thanks, Jian. This was the best show that I’ve seen on TV, quite possibly ever (take that, Six Feet Under!). I was going to say that this is the most biased review on this site, but then I re-read some of Lisa’s and it turns out this will fall in line with the rest of them.
- First of all, I pledge my undying love to Matthew Morrison. From the original Link Larkin in Broadway’s Hairspray to Fabrizio in The Light in the Piazza to Lt. Cable in South Pacific, this mofo can sing and I’m left wondering why he didn’t sing to me… err… perform in the pilot.
- Jane Lynch as Cheerio coach is brilliant. “You think that’s hard, try having herpes!”
- Amazing writing, some of my personal faves… “those kielbasas look like they’ve been there for a long time,” “terry rides me… hard…” “possession is eight-tenths of the law,” and “i’m on my feet 4 hours a day 3 days a week.”
- One of the charachters is President of the Celebacy Club. Let us pray.
- The details – the acapella interludes between scenes was perfect. did i hear them sing the theme from Austin Powers? yeah I did!!
- Ned Ryerson as the Chronic Lady Marijuana dealer. BING!
- Rachel Berry [insert gold star here] reminds me so much of idina menzel… so weird.
- And the dude reminds me of Chris Klein.
- Don’t you think shooting paint balls at someone in close range is a bad idea? didn’t it make rich bleed once? wtf?
- Why do we have to wait for the fall for the next episode?!??
And then there was the music…
- Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’ by Journey – when that guy is spray painging the lawn singing this song I was in heaven. Now it’s your turn girl to cry!
- Where is Love from Oliver – every kid who’s ever been in a chorus has sung this song – that’s why it’s such a brilliant choice to sing here.
- Rehab by Amy Winehouse – there’s even a little something for Rachel in this show.
- Respect by Aretha Franklin – my favorite line from this character, Mercedes, comes later when they ask her if she can do the costumes. ”Damn, do you see what I got on?”
- On My Own from Les Miserables – i love [this show] but only on my own.
- I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry – rachel: jian, are you happy there’s an asian? jian: ummm…???
- You’re The One That I Want from Grease – Move over, Olivia & John, I’ll take real high schoolers singing this song over the originals any day of the week!
- I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore by REO Speedwagon – also highlighted in the musical Rock of Ages, rachel still can’t name that tune until the chorus
- Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey – I mean, there is nothing to say about this song other than it’s f*in brilliant. Ask the Sopranos guys, they understand.
- Honorable mentions to: Shining Star by EW&F, Mr. Cellophane from Chicago, That’s the Way I Like it by KC & The Sunshine Band, Sit Down You’re Rocking The Boat from Guys & Dolls, and all the other songs I missed because there were so many!
Feeling sick? Maybe you have [impending doom music] “THE JIANS!” March 12, 2009
For anyone who doesn’t know this story (there might be two of you out there), I used to get sick a lot in college. As a child, I got tonsillitis and the stomach flu every year, but I was generally healthy. Then, I went to Binghamton and came down with the bubonic plague every month or so along with everything else associated with the apocalypse. After a while, my friends endearingly coined the term “the jians” for every time someone came down with an inexplicable illness.
I have recently learned I have certain vitamin deficiencies and am doing much better, but I have to be very diligent with my diet and supplements or else, I may fall back into…the JIANS. Here is a list of symptoms and/or treatments associated with “the jians” so you too can go on mayoclinic.com and self-diagnose:
- The doctors assemble a team of specialists ‘a la House’ to mock…I mean, treat you.
- All your doctors and assistants know you by face and you call them by their first names and ask about their loved ones.
- You have been on several types of antibiotics and none of them are working.
- You feel nauseous from all the antibiotics and while you are throwing up, the pills you took 3 hours ago come up whole with the writing still on it.
- The nurses give you chocolate and candy when you come in because you look like you’re going to pass out.
- The recommended dosage of Advil or Tylenol is a joke to you.
- Your friends/roommates/significant other drives you to the hospital at 3 in the AM because you:
- sound like you’re dying
- look like you’re dying
- are covered with hives from allergic reactions to medication
- possibly fractured something unintentionally
- They gave you a shot in the ass or something equally humiliating in front of your friends/roommates/significant other, but all you care about is the pain…the pain.
- You take Benadryl not because of allergies, but because when you lie down at night, you can’t stop coughing or breathe properly long enough to fall asleep.
- Your medicine cabinet looks like a Duane Reade display (CVS or Walgreens for you out-of-towners).
- The doctors have thought you had and tested you for: chronic fatigue syndrome, Addison’s disease, ulcers, cancers, and appendicitis (just to name a few).
- There is something in your eye – oh wait, it’s a shard of metal and you need emergency surgery.
- You are sick enough where you cannot do anything or even walk, but not sick enough where you need to be hospitalized – this depresses you cause you still don’t know why you’re sick.
- You think someone is trying to poison you or that you live in one of those “cancer zones” where the air/water/land makes you sick.
- There have been times when you ‘relied on the kindness of strangers’ not because you are trusting, but because you have fainted in public on top of them.
- You have carried around a container for your pee because they needed to test your cortisol levels (if you know what that means, you’ve definitely had the jians!).
- When you watch medical dramas on TV, you know exactly what they’re talking ‘bout.
- You cannot visit undeveloped or third world countries without a barrage of prescription medication and more than the recommended amount of vaccinations.
- The drugs you are taking could bring down small children or a large horse.
- Lastly, the side effects of your drugs and/or tests (CT Scan drinks) are far worse than your actual illness which your doctor misdiagnosed due to the many things that are wrong with you.
