- if I tell her how Lost ends, maybe she’ll stop watching episode after episode. THE ISLAND TRAVELS THROUGH TIME IDIOT.
- why does this bitch keep checking me, you KNOW no one called. depressing!
- YES THE RINGER IS ON AND IT IS WORKING
- for a former english major, she really sucks at boggle
- oh no, not the youtube app, it can only mean one thing. taylor swift’s ‘you belong with me’. again. with the tearful sing-a-long. !@#$
- oh and now you want to text him. THAT’S a good idea. I can’t freeze the screen every time you make a bad decision you know.
- what exactly do you intend to use your photoshop app for? Ha, you can’t figure it out.
- and really, you know the neato looking compass will just confuse you
- you saw daylight savings marked on your calendar and got excited thinking you had something to do. Sucka. ::hangs camera lens in shame::
- I KNOW you didn’t just shazam a depressing Pink song.
- ‘sad bastard’ is not a genre on Pandora that either of us need to listen to
- I understand you have a checkers ‘strategy’, but you keep losing to an unchanged algorithm who doesn’t care about your intense need to feel some sense of success in life
- you should be googling psychotherapists instead of fish tacos
- I can assure you that no one is interested whatever you are considering liveblogging
- dude, when writing an email, the Send button is on the left and the Discard button is on the right. IT’S NOT THAT HARD AND THEY ARE CLEARLY MARKED AHHHHHHHH. That’s it. goodbye cruel world. Tell apple I’m sorry for that whole patent thing. I have suffered everyday since.
thoughts that contributed to my smartphone’s suicide attempt when it decided it couldn’t take it anymore and jumped into my glass of wine March 8, 2010
The Numbers Game February 10, 2010
Things Lisa and I have done, either together or alone, at least 30 times, if not more, and survived:
1 – invent words
2 – invent games
3 – do tequila shots
4 – have impasses
5 – drink entire bottles of wine
6 – alienate our friends/family
7 – talk about hands
8 – run like show ponies or phoebe from friends
9 – watch taylor swift videos
10 – fall down
Possible reasons I love CSI: crime scene investigation as vehemently as I do October 14, 2009
- OCD means that sometimes I will need to watch 20 hours of the only television show while trapped in bed sick, even if it means opening a video store rental account
- there is no room for feelings in evidence. I like that!
- nick’s erratic southern charm and accent is unfailingly charming to me
- warrick is cool and flawed enough to be someone I find attractive and would want to date
- most badass female characters on television
- including a former showgirl!
- they kinda treat the bodies like fossils. I like fossils.
- if it’s good enough for taylor swift, it’s good enough for me
- btw, did you know she’s a quadruple threat? sings, dances, acts, and plays dead. is there nothing that sassy gal from the south can’t do?
- the most complex and elaborate crimes get solved in an hour. it’s gonna take me like three times as long to pack for my vacation, with everything I need in the same room.
- everything at the crime lab is so shiny
- grissom knows everything, including sign language. that reminds me of teddy.
- whoever thinks up the crimes on the show is a really scary genius
- eventually, something I picked up from the show is going to benefit me in real life
- the corpses remind me of six feet under. tear.
if taylor swift wrote songs about people i hate, the title would be… October 5, 2009
- you belong with the bottom of the ravine your tour bus spilled all that crap into that time
- you belong with someone significantly less cool than ryan reynolds
- you belong with that county outside of new york city
- you belong with brooklyn and thank god you stay there
- you belong with billy bob thornton
- you belong with long island, not my fucking neighborhood
- you belong with philadelphia
- you belong with coleslaw, cause most people just throw it out even though they serve it with EVERYTHING
- you belong with that lameass doctor your character married in ‘somethings gotta give’
- you belong with the song ‘we built this city’
Possible reasons why I am having such strong physical and emotional reactions to the music of taylor swift October 5, 2009
- this must be my version of a sports car as age 30 closes in
- and I’m still on the bleachers
- on youtube, all you have to type is ‘Ta’ and that friggin song is the first thing that comes up
- on google, all you have to type is ‘you be’ and the lyrics to that friggin song are the first thing that comes up
- that’s what happens when you watch MTV on direct tv during a flight home when you’re terrified of flying and don’t want to go home and you just landed and that friggin video is on
- I hate cheerleaders
- I love sneakers and tshirts
- laughing on a park bench is actually really easy
- I listened to nirvana during my formative years and never got to indulge in age appropriate puppy love angst
- aka I was a fat tweenager
- had the beastie boys released their new album as scheduled, this would not be an issue
- my dad is gay
- I don’t think any of us can be held responsible for our actions in 2009. at least I didn’t get a really bad haircut.
- perhaps my amateur mixology really wasn’t the best idea and all these feelings are the result of some bad jam
- taylor is like the adorable blond perky nice popular [but not too popular] little sister I never had
liveblogging the VMA’s September 13, 2009
- it took a half hour, but rachel gave up my computer and is letting me liveblog. SUCKA.
- wow, aliens from the planet of Shortsequineddresses have landed and taken over
- lady gaga snagged kermit. last i checked, he married miss piggy in muppets take manhattan. i guess frogs are just as toady as human men.
- where’s keanu?
- if my heart could write songs when it was 12 years old, they would sound like taylor swift’s.
- for years i was saying that they should remake Fame and make it a bastardized yet sassy version of the original. finally!
- i love when they have commercials for the show you’re watching WHILE you’re watching it
- where’s drake from degrassi?
- ok, stupid question. why is twilight all over this show? isn’t that what the MTV Movie Awards are for?
- DAMNIT there’s a documentary on Kid n’PLay on at the same time as these awards. damnit!
- new game: is it a commercial for Fame or JC Penney’s
- OMG THE BEASTIE BOYS WON A VMA AND THEY HAVEN’T EVEN RELEASED THEIR ALBUM. cause they’re THAT good. booyah.
- oh. their new album was supposed to come out this week and it’s not gonna. sad again.
- omg it’s starting. i’m giddy. it’s like being 19 again and not yet hating life.
- quote: rachel: wasn’t it better when brooke shields spoke about michael jackson? they had a connection. it was touching. lisa: so was michael jackson
- hey madonna, stick to rolling around the floor in tulle and leave the emotional discourse to taylor swift
- fucking Thriller reenactment. AGAIN. its like Jam never fucking happened!
- who are these dancers anyways?
- i really want to watch Captain EO. even if it wasn’t in 3D it would be so much more entertaining than this.
- why is russell brand yelling?
- why does lady gaga look like she’s in traction? OH WAIT, I GET IT. IT’S HER POKERFACE!
- he’s still yelling. he just said he was half harry potter. i told you, magic DOES do more harm than good.
- wow, i’ve never been bored to hear people talk about wolves before
- OH MY GOD I’M HAVING STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT A CATEGORY. I CAN’T PICK MY FAVORITE FEMALE VIDEO.
- OMG TAYLOR SWIFT WON!!!!!!! I FEEL AWESOME! i mean…i have no opinion on this outcome whatsoever.
- kanye you ruined taylor swift’s moment. i’m going to do all the awful things i said i was gonna do to teddy to you instead.
- the house band for this show is the polar opposite of the Roots in the sense that the roots are awetastic and this band is the worst band in the history of bands
- it’s sad when jack black is unfunny. where’s taylor swift?
- wait, coldplay counts as rock now?
- wow, green day sounds like weezer now?
- wait, terrence thinks that weezer’s blue album is better than pinkerton. uh.
- omg taylor swift takes the subway just like me. i love her! AHHHHHHHHHHH
- this song is my life
- omg she doesn’t know how to ride the subway, that’s so cute!
- i’m still on the bleachers. frown.
- why can’t lady gaga be more like taylor swift?
- big ups for bedazzler usage
- this song isn’t good. and she’s bleeding grape juice.
- new game: lady gaga or where the wild things are
- sorry green day, taylor swift has ruined me for the rest of the vma’s
- @the new moon trailer. um. hmmm. um. well, luckily jian is saying it all, so i don’t have to say a damn thing.
- for the record, i would soooo tap the werewolf over the metrosexual vampire
- nate from gossip girl is nothing to me. where the f is chuck bass.
- new game: sports illustrated shoot or beyonce performance
- i’d call it a guilty pleasure to love the song ‘single ladies’ but whatevs, it’s dang catchy.
- oh good. the single ladies have multiplied to reflect the actual number of single ladies in this city.
- wow, lady gaga’s pokerface just got pokier
- she dedicated her award to the gays. i dedicate my life to the gays. i win. at gay.
- hmm pink is gonna do a circus routine shouldn’t it be to the song funhouse? yeah, lisa watched mtv on her flight home from chicago. 25 minutes of mtv and i’m totally up to date on music.
- dude, i go to chicago for one fucking weekend and all of a sudden i curse, i get sick, and i love taylor swift
- this house band is still really bad
- wow, the video of the year goes to a video featuring a woman in a bathing suit shaking her junk. the movie ‘idiocracy’ is real and is happening.
- omg taylor! thank you from distracting me from lady gaga’s cowardly lion ensemble.
- and i would like to thank taylor for thanking me for blogging. yeah, she thanked me! she would respect my decision to live offline.
- aaaaaaaand we’re done. peace.
